7 steps to the top of your profession
As a woman, it’s easier than you think.
If there is one thing I know, it’s that I’m pretty ordinary. This may sound strange coming from someone who has a Doctorate in Engineering and a fairly successful career in tech; but it’s true. And the reason I’m highlighting my qualifications is not some under-handed, thinly veiled attempt to toot my own horn and prove my credibility. It is because I know that there are millions of highly qualified, highly capable women who could be (and so many are) doing what I am doing. I am not one in a million. We are the millions in a billion. So I am certainly not extraordinary.
So why am I writing this? It is to show you how to also get there. There. Meaning to the top of your profession. To a position that brings you enough power to make a difference. And believe me, you don’t have to be extraordinary to achieve that.
So here are seven very practical things that I have used over the years to help me accelerate my career.
1. Throw your hat in the ring
If you want that promotion, that new role or that dream job that has just been advertised, then apply. Put your hat in the ring. Don’t make excuses. Don’t say you don’t have time or that you wouldn’t have gotten it anyways because you think you are under-qualified or don’t have enough experience. If you meet even 50% of the criteria, then apply.
What have you got to lose? What’s the worst that’s going to happen? They might say no. They might say you are under-qualified or inexperienced. Good. Then you’ll know and you can work hard to get qualified and experienced. And trust me when I say, it will be harder for them to say no the next time. Every time you ask makes it harder and harder for them to say no. But you have to be in it to win it.
If somebody else gets that promotion because you didn’t even ask or apply, then you only have yourself to blame. Why would you want that? Better to rage against the system and find someone else to blame. Better yet, you might just get what you asked for. Wouldn’t that be something?
2. Ask for 10k more
Here’s my rule when it comes to salary negotiations: whatever your intuition tells you to ask for, ask for more. Don’t ever, ever, ever undervalue yourself. The world will do that for you. Pick a number and then add 10k to it. The gender pay gap is much more than that in many parts of the world, especially in tech. You owe it to all of us #EqualPay
3. There’s power in vulnerability
What’s wrong with emotions? I’m emotional. And it makes me damn good at what I do. Why? Because it takes emotion, passion and empathy to grow people and products. Without them you might as well be a turtle.
So if you find ourself getting emotional, why not use that to your advantage?I’m not speaking of destructive emotions like anger, which do have their place but must be managed carefully. I’m speaking of vulnerability, fear and embarrassment that can make you feel overwhelmed, particularly when having a difficult conversation with a superior. There’s nothing at all wrong with these. Learn to use them, not as a tactic but as an internal trigger. If you do suddenly find tears welling up in a meeting, trust me when I say that you are making the person sitting across from you very uncomfortable. In fact, power has shifted slightly in your favour. Realise this. Now use it to get what you came to get.
4. You can’t seesaw alone
Seesawing alone would be a pretty fruitless exercise. Trying to rise to the top on your own is no different. So if you feel powerless, it’s only because you haven’t found the right playground buddy yet.
So get yourself a sparring partner at work. Someone currently on a similar career level to you in any part of your organisation, who understands the culture and hierarchy you are part of. Pick someone you feel entirely comfortable with. An easy test is to ask yourself if you would be happy to show this person your pay check. It is important your relationship reaches that level of comfort.
Practice all your potentially difficult conversations with this person. Meet regularly to discuss how you will approach your next performance review, promotion pitch or budget request. Cry. Get angry. Get frustrated. Be insecure and vulnerable. So when it comes time to pitch to your real audience you will recognise those feelings and they will not scare you.
5. Sometimes you need a giant
I often say that I have been successful because I stand on the shoulders of giants. I have had many giants who have shouldered me in my career. But the most rewarding has been a business sponsor. No I didn’t say mentor. I said sponsor. There is a big difference.
If you are early in your career a mentor can be invaluable. But as you progress and gain confidence in your own abilities it may be time to find yourself a business sponsor. A sponsor does not coach you or teach you how to achieve your goals. A sponsor throws you in the deep end and expects you to swim. A sponsor creates opportunities for you to showcase your skills to a wider audience. They create visibility for you within and outside your organisation. A business sponsor can be the number one most valuable professional relationship to accelerating your career.
So find someone 3 to 4 hierarchies above you in your organisation and ask them to be your sponsor. How exactly can you do that? Firstly, make sure this is someone you really admire. Be genuine. Then either email them directly or find an opportunity to run into them and say hello.
Hello, I’m Nilofer Christensen and I work in [insert part of the organisation you are in]. I know this is rather unorthodox but would you mind having a coffee with me sometime? One day I want to do what you do and I would love to talk to you about that.”
There. No gushing or grovelling just a completely honest acknowledgement of what you want and why you want it. You’ll be surprised at how often that works.
Yes I know this sounds daunting and down-right impossible to some of you. But let’s look at why you might be feeling that way.
There is no way something like that would work in my organisation.
How can I possibly approach that VP, Director or CCO and even talk to them, let alone ask them to do something for me?
They don’t have time for that.
I am so far down the food chain that there is no way I could even think of doing that.
This would mean going over my boss’ head. That’s just not possible.
It’s just not possible. I could never do that.
Right? Wrong. Firstly, most successful people want to share their success. They want to show you how they got there and how you can too. They have their own battles and you approaching them is a sign of respect. It validates their own success and they would welcome it. The more hierarchical your organisation is, the more a business sponsor could benefit you.
Secondly, you are not going over your boss’ head. You are building relationships. You are not asking for your boss’ job. You are merely putting yourself on someone else’s radar. Someone with greater influence within your organisation than you yourself currently have. The only difference between you and this person is their job title. They almost certainly like coffee (or tea) and they are definitely human. And the last time I checked the majority of humans are not cannibals. So your base fears are unfounded.
A word of warning. You have to be ready for a business sponsor. If you feel (and I mean genuinely feel) that you are capable of so much more than your current responsibilities, then go for it. Tell them that. Tell them you would like to increase your visibility and sphere of influence within the organisation and ask if they can help you with that. Once you have taken this first step, the rest will follow. You may get invited to be part of a special project or give a talk at a company event. You may get invited to an internal or external training course. Soak it up. Build on every opportunity your business sponsor creates for you and do not get complacent. Show them that you are up to the challenge and their investment in you is worth it.
6. Don’t scrub off your labels
We all have them. We all know that people perceive us a certain way. You have no control over that. You might try to be nice and get labelled a push-over. You might try to be authoritative and get labelled a bi*ch. If you try to scrub off one label you are merely creating room for another. So leave them. Success will find you despite and often because of your labels.
7. Talk to a man
You know something? Men judge their own. They know that they as a gender can be better. Can do better. Feminist men are on the rise and I for one am grateful. I take every opportunity I can to talk to men. Make allies. Bridging the gap of women in corporate leadership positions is something we can only do together. It’s not about acceptance. It’s about value add.
From one woman to another. Thanks for reading. It’s been emotional.
